Quotes by Jeffrey Bernard

Jeffrey Bernard

A lot of girls annoy me who go to university – one girl told me she was going to Oxford because it was something to do between leaving school and getting married. And I’ve got to pay for that being an income tax payer.

Girl

Oxford

School

Although I have to admit I have despised a couple of people simply because they have never had a job in their lives.

Couple

Jobs

People

But you’ve got to have money for comfort, which obviously doesn’t matter as much when you’re young, but even so. I always like to bloody eat well and be warm. Have a drink when I want it.

Comfort

Matter

Want

I don’t remember ever being full of dislike and hatred for people, like some kids I’ve come across now.

Hatred

Kids

People

I enjoy doing nothing.

Doing Nothing

Enjoy

I have been commissioned to write an autobiography and I would be grateful to any of your readers who could tell me what I was doing between 1960 and 1974.

Grateful

Would Be

Writing

I have stood in a bar in Lambourn and been offered, in the space of five minutes, a poached salmon, a leg of a horse, a free trip to Chantilly, marriage, a large unsolicited loan, ten tips for a ten-horse race, two second-hand cars, a fight, and the copyright to a dying jockey’s life story.

Fighting

Horse

Race

I was under the care of a couple of medical students who couldn’t diagnose a decapitation.

Care

Couple

Students

In most betting shops you will see three windows marked ‘Bet Here’, but only one window with the legend ‘Pay Out’.

Gambling

Luck

Money

It’s not name dropping, but not many people can say, like me, that they spent the day with the likes of Francis Bacon or that boring drunk Dylan Thomas. You don’t forget things like that.

Drunk

Names

People

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Addiction

Alcohol

Alternatives

Beautiful

Bed

Black

Blue

Boys

Care

Champagne

Clouds

Comfort

Couple

Doing Nothing

Drinking

Drunk

Enjoy

Fighting

Gambling

Getting Older

Girl

Gone

Government

Grateful

Hatred

Horse

Impossible

Intelligent

Jobs

Journalism

Journey

Kids

Luck

Lying

Matter

Mean

Memories

Midnight

Money

Names

Offering

Oxford

People

Race

Reason

School

Self

Servant

Should Have

Stars

The Future Blueprint

Tool

The Home Therapist: Anti Anxiety

Tool

The Autobiography

Tool

The Behaviour Diary

Tool

The Dating Diary

Tool

The Relationship Therapist

Tool

Quotes by Jeffrey Bernard

Jeffrey Bernard

A lot of girls annoy me who go to university – one girl told me she was going to Oxford because it was something to do between leaving school and getting married. And I’ve got to pay for that being an income tax payer.

Although I have to admit I have despised a couple of people simply because they have never had a job in their lives.

But you’ve got to have money for comfort, which obviously doesn’t matter as much when you’re young, but even so. I always like to bloody eat well and be warm. Have a drink when I want it.

I don’t remember ever being full of dislike and hatred for people, like some kids I’ve come across now.

I enjoy doing nothing.

I have been commissioned to write an autobiography and I would be grateful to any of your readers who could tell me what I was doing between 1960 and 1974.

I have stood in a bar in Lambourn and been offered, in the space of five minutes, a poached salmon, a leg of a horse, a free trip to Chantilly, marriage, a large unsolicited loan, ten tips for a ten-horse race, two second-hand cars, a fight, and the copyright to a dying jockey’s life story.

I was under the care of a couple of medical students who couldn’t diagnose a decapitation.

In most betting shops you will see three windows marked ‘Bet Here’, but only one window with the legend ‘Pay Out’.

It’s not name dropping, but not many people can say, like me, that they spent the day with the likes of Francis Bacon or that boring drunk Dylan Thomas. You don’t forget things like that.

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Topics by Jeffrey Bernard

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The Future Blueprint

The Home Therapist: Anti Anxiety

The Autobiography

The Behaviour Diary

The Dating Diary

The Relationship Therapist

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