Funny Quotes by David Cross

David Cross

Because you’ve been on dates where y’know, you forget to open your eyes and wear pants and speak English.

Eye

Funny

Humor

David Cross

Besides if people really want to support the troops they would vote democrat.

Funny

Humor

People

David Cross

High Times magazine is a notch intellectually below Highlights for Children. I mean, they’re both great to read when you’re baked, but come on, ya know.

Children

Funny

Humor

David Cross

I am against the war, but I do support our white troops. No, I’m kidding, I’m kidding. I’m not a Republican. I’m not a member of the party of inclusion. Wonderful, tolerant, rational human beings they are.

Funny

Party

War

David Cross

I do believe that on a whole, women are definitely smarter than men… I also believe that dogs are smarter than women. No? That one, you don’t believe it? You believe that I didn’t do a series of tests? You are right to not believe it, because I’m going to go ahead and admit that I do not believe what I just said, it was what’s described as a ‘joke.’ Um, I’ll be telling a bunch of them here tonight.

Believe

Dog

Funny

David Cross

I lived in LA for almost nine years and if I never went back there again it would be fine.

Funny

Humor

Years

David Cross

I really don’t have a problem with gay marriage… because I’m tolerant and rational.

Funny

Gay

Humor

David Cross

The South has more of a disproportionate amount of irony on T-shirts than any other region in the country.

Country

Funny

Humor

David Cross

We get to see it! January 1st, 2000! We get to see… all those fundamentalist preachers having to do their backpedaling when the Armageddon doesn’t occur.

Funny

Humor

January

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Funny Quotes by David Cross

Because you’ve been on dates where y’know, you forget to open your eyes and wear pants and speak English.

Besides if people really want to support the troops they would vote democrat.

High Times magazine is a notch intellectually below Highlights for Children. I mean, they’re both great to read when you’re baked, but come on, ya know.

I am against the war, but I do support our white troops. No, I’m kidding, I’m kidding. I’m not a Republican. I’m not a member of the party of inclusion. Wonderful, tolerant, rational human beings they are.

I lived in LA for almost nine years and if I never went back there again it would be fine.

I really don’t have a problem with gay marriage… because I’m tolerant and rational.

The South has more of a disproportionate amount of irony on T-shirts than any other region in the country.

We get to see it! January 1st, 2000! We get to see… all those fundamentalist preachers having to do their backpedaling when the Armageddon doesn’t occur.

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